These past two days at uni have been awesome. I shed my old scales immensely fast but I’m hoping that doesn’t bite me in the butt in the long run.
In terms of my studies..
Anxious? Sort of but mostly excited.
Scared? Not really. I’m pumped.
Talk too much? Oh yes, I’m cracking jokes to often I think too.
Because I think I’ve been unwell the majority of my life. I’m afraid that this isn’t me trying my hardest to be well and happy. I’m scared that this is prolonged mania.
How do I know if this is a large amount of mania spread evenly over several days?
Is that even possible?
Am I starting to sabotage myself by doubting myself?
There’s an infernal war waging inside of me. Good vs Evil. They coexist together right?
There’s a lot of tugging and pulling within my soul. It’s not just one way or the other either. It’s being tugged and pulled from different directions.
It feels conflicting and confusing.
I know I’m capable but I don’t tell myself that enough.
Our Infomation and Communication skills tutorial, touched on the subject -> self concept. I think I’ll write about that after a smoke because it’s buzzing around in my mind lol
Plus I allocated a colouring pencil (I’m too cool for highlighters) to marking what sparks my interest, and to blog about it.