I love my family [A draft I wrote 7 months ago]

In the darkest depths and brightest altitudes,
my family has always been there.
My inner circle is actually a triangle.
Consisting of my mum, brother and me.
It’s always been just us.
Like the rings of a tree,
our relatives,
family friends,
and acquaintances
Help make up the tree that you see.

Some how that came out more poetic than I meant it to lol It’s how I feel though. In the darkest depths of my depression and grief, they’ve always been there. They’re always there to throw out a flotation device. Sometimes I don’t even see it. So it drifts about on it’s tether, with them on the other side. Sometimes I think I ignore it, wanting to sink to the bottom and drown. Sometimes, the life line falls perfectly over me. Nevertheless, they always pull me in. There’s always a clean change of clothes, blanket and a hot drink.

I love my family.

Aiming for A’s

After making myself feel horrible all week, I feel good right now.

One of my tutors keeps drilling “attendance = achievement” into our heads. He also says that’s only part of it. Attending the classes will help you pass… With C grades. All of my tutors remind us that we have to make the effort in our own time. To study at least 4 hours a week for each class. I’ve been doing exactly that.

Today I realised that I’ve made the commitment to aim for A’s.

I’ve had two tests this week, one last week. The one from last week hasn’t been marked. I got 80% on the second test (worth 10% of that class’ grade overall) and I got full marks on the third test (worth 20% of that class’ grade overall). I’m really stoked with those grades! I know I aced the first one too.

Attendance equals achievement.

Making sure I motivate myself enough to get out of bed each morning, means I will attend my classes.
Making sure I attend my classes means I won’t fall behind.
Keeping up means I can aim for A’s.

Attendance equals achievement.
Achievement can equal A’s.

On a lighter note

It was my first day back studying.

I think its been a year or maybe a bit more since my last attempt at studying failed followed by an exhausting prolonged mental break down.

Studying IT. There are 3 other girls in my class. The other 26 or so are guys. I say it doesn’t bother me but maybe it does. I think those thoughts are for a different post though. This one is a positive one 🙂

Last night and over the weekend I’ve felt pumped. Ready, set, go!

Today I’ve felt like – I’ve got this!

I admit I was really nervous. Before today I didn’t know Amy of the content or important dates. Tomorrow I will be introduced to the last two papers.

Now that I have a fair idea, I feel confident. I can’t back down now. I’m sure I will along the way.. but who knows!

Feeling capable is a feeling that I don’t often get the chance to relish in. So I’m going to soak it all up. Maybe it will stick on me permanently?

I hope so!