Anxious minty

She is seldom mentioned but is always there.

The other Mintys are my emotions personified. This Minty is more of a physical representation. I thought I’d shed some light on her.

She is like a transparent cloak. A puppeteer of sorts sometimes. When she’s stressed she taps her index and thumb together. Her shoulders are always tense. Instead of clenching her fists she does the opposite, tensing and constricting her fingers and palms the opposite way. She is the mechanic behind the rare but memorable panic attacks. When she’s in large crowds or feels caged her heart rate rises and her breaths are short. “Dont forget to breathe” she often forgets to breathe. 

She is also the one that tries to self soothe or just simply relax. She has this thing she does with her feet that makes her feel safe and comfortable. Come to think of it, she’s been doing it since she was a child. She rubs the insides of her feet together when she’s lying down. As if to try and warm them up.

I used to wake up with dents from my finger nails in my palm and a locked jaw in the morning from clenching it in my sleep. It used to be so bad that I’d only be able to open my mouth a certain amount before it hurt and clicked. Now it just feels like grinding from trying to smooth it out.

She’s not as apparent when I’m stable. I feel stable now. I’m just a bit wrinkly.

I’m working on ironing out the wrinkles and keeping anxious minty at bay.

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