So, I took my friend in on Friday day. She had been having problems with her mum and needed a place to stay while she sorted out permanent living arrangements. This friend took me to this party last night. I didn’t know anyone.. it took me a bit of Dutch courage to go around introducing myself. It was at a big house out in a semi-rural part of town, down this loooong driveway. Someone said it was about 300m long.
The night started pretty slow. Strangers were talking together about things I wasn’t too interested in. I was checking my phone pretty often too (is it home time yet? Lol). Fast forward several beers and I’m hopping from a couple groups saying hi and introducing myself to these strangers. Everyone was fairly nice. The gender ratio was pretty unbalanced so I guess I did a lot flirting (do I even know how to flirt?)
This one guy in particular caught my brain (most people would say eye right?) After being at a party not knowing anyone and finding someone that I can comfortably talk to was very refreshing!
Fast forward another several beers and I’m making out with this guy in a dark corner somewhere. Honestly, I can’t remember most of it. You know how when you kind of forget a conversation or situation, yet you remember feelings or faces. I don’t remember what we did really, what I do remember is that we talked. About what? I wish I could remember. I just remember feeling really comfortable.
I think someone went looking for us or we emerged eventually. I remember my friend yelling at me “YOU WERE GONE FOR TWO HOURS!” …really? That long? I remember pleading with her “we only talked and made out, I told him I didn’t want to do anything more and he didn’t force me!” Did I mention he was actually quite a drunk gentleman? A blond girl yelled at me… I dont remember what she said but she looked like an angry crack head in my mind. Unnaturally skinny, gaunt and her skin was horrible. I’ve never met a crack head but I would imagine they’d look like her.
I didn’t feel safe or comfortable anymore. Little Minty was ready to bolt, and we did. I started my trek up that long driveway. I can’t remember how far up I got. I just remember feeling hurt. This was trivial and childish.. Little Minty cried so hard and so loud! This chick was running, trying to catch up with me. I must of walked a fair way? She stopped me, I remember sitting on the side of the driveway talking to her. I asked her why she was helping me. She told me it’s because she knows how I feel. Her name was Emma and she made me feel safe. She eventually managed to get me back to the house. My phone was flat so she needed to put it on charge. I waited outside the house.
My friend was there. We’re both still waaaay too drunk. To be honest I was still really confused about what was going on. Whilst waiting for my mum my friend wasnt yelling at me anymore. She was telling me that it wasn’t my fault, that I’m a good person, that I didn’t do anything wrong. At this point I was angry. Angry Minty unleashed herself. Pushing her friend away. I didn’t want her to touch me. Angry Minty likes to punch. Not people though. I punched the concrete, the ground, I remember punching a tree. This was how frustrated I was. So lady like right?
My mum made it. Yay! Mums to the rescue. She got me into the car. Then walked a bit closer to the house. I can’t remember everything she said but I do remember hearing “…you brought her to a party where she knew no one, you should have taken care of her” it didn’t really occur to me that I was on my own most of the night really.
Mum drove me home… I settled down.. but I started recieving long winded text messages…
Honestly, I was too busy trying to fit in and not feel uncomfortable around people I’ve never met, to notice she fancied someone. Should I have been paying more attention to the guys she danced with, flirted and kissed? Some things she’s said has confused me but from my experience from growing up with her, a lot of things she thinks wouldn’t make sense to most. I just found it really bizzare how she kept texting me, at one point it actually seemed as if she was imagining that she was having a conversation with me, considering I wasn’t replying.
One thing that bothered me was that she implied I did that to hurt her. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone 😦
I had her phone so she could enjoy her night. She had been texting her mum and uncle arguing. It was upsetting her. Now she’s doing to the same thing to me.I dont think I have enough expendable energy to invest in a texting war.
I’m not well. I shouldnt have drunk that much, especially since I’m on medication. I will never drink that much around people I dont know and at a place I’ve never been before.
I have a big spiritual tank of resilience. I can only use a tiny fraction of it though. I haven’t figured out how to use the rest. So what little resilience I have, I try to use it to help make myself better. If I’m not using it on me then I’m using it on someone else. I wish she had realised how much I wanted to help her by taking her in. I’m hurt that she would get so worked up over something so trivial.
Needless to say, I won’t be having anything to do with her for a while.