One morning I stood at my ranchslider looking out into the backyard. It was raining and looked miserable outside. I sensed Little Minty next to me with her hands up against the glass. She was assessing the weather too, with a little frown. I had an appointment with my psychotherapist that day.
“Let’s stay home instead” little Minty pleaded with me “it’s icky out there” she continued. Realising the situation, I reassured myself. “Let’s wait it out and see how the weather looks later”. She pouted.. and we went back and forth a bit.. you get the idea, I was arguing with the kid in me! By the time afternoon rolled around the weather had cleared, I was able to make my way to my appointment. 1 point to me!
In the past I would assess my day at the start. I’d decide whether it was worth waking up for, whether it was worth showering for, some days I wondered if it was even worth being alive. I would usually find excuses.. “it’s not worth it. Stay in bed. It’s warm in here and we can snooze!” “Don’t to go school today. You’re behind in everything anyway” “you’re not going anywhere. Don’t bother showering”.
It kind of became a seemingly infinite chain. It’s all tangled up like how a metal necklace gets tangled. I won that day atleast. It was the smallest biggest achievement I had made all week!
Untangling myself one knot at a time.